My involvement in a wedding this past weekend left me unable to attend three different funerals of people that I knew. I was asked to officiate at one, provide music at another, and simply wanted to be present at the other one.
It should come as no surprise then that as I sat at the piano watching this bride and groom get married on Saturday evening, the moment in which they were asked if they would keep their vows until they were parted by death caused my mind to wander for a few minutes.
The three funerals represented three different people who were all at varying degrees of time into their married adult lives. One of the deaths was the 23 year-old son of one of my closest friends in the world. He had yet to have his 2nd wedding anniversary. The second death this week was my dentist's wife (also a dentist - they practiced together) who was far too young (in her late 50s), but who had, with her husband, made a life together and raised their children to adulthood. The other funeral was of an elderly man who had earned his final goodbye by living to 90 years of age and enjoying 63 years of marriage.
All of this went through my mind as this young couple stood at the altar. My wife and I have been married for 17 years and counting. Neither of us have experienced significant health scares, but nobody ever knows what tomorrow holds. And trust me... we have had a few surprises through the years that have challenged the bonds of our matrimony.
One of them was when I told my wife of my call to be a pastor. She married a church musician, so pastor wasn't too far off the radar. Still, one of her life goals was never to marry a preacher. Ooops. In less than three weeks, we will be making our third move to a new location under the banner of the itineracy in The United Methodist Church. I know she didn't sign up for this. But she has lovingly followed the bishop's appointment for me and will do so again. She will do it for many reasons, but most of those reasons are based in the promises of March 21, 1998, where she said she would love me, comfort me, honor and keep me, and forsake all others until we are parted by death.
It is so easy to take for granted the ones we partner with to do life together. I have sat with many couples through the years either preparing for marriage or working to put the pieces back together to one that is badly damaged. Many of those marriages would be blessed if they could simply decide to treat each other as well as they would a guest in their home. So often, the genuine thankfulness of God's provision of a partner is gone. Although my own marriage isn't perfect (and it won't be as long as I'm part of it), each time I have conducted marriage ceremonies, I am reminded of how thankful I am for my own wife and family. Each time I have buried the love of somebody's life in the funeral rite, I have been thankful that my own wife continues to be full of life and energy for me and my family.
There is a high calling for singleness in today's world. I believe there may be many who are genuinely fit for this lifestyle. There are freedoms to the single life that are helpful for the kingdom of God. Fewer obligations and less time involved in family commitments could free great resources for the kingdom of God. In the New Testament, Paul suggests singleness as the preferred way for those who are "all in" for the kingdom of God. But, thankfully, he realized that singleness isn't for everyone and that some will need to follow the marriage vocation.
Let me use this forum today to simply remind myself and my growing body of readers that if there is a significant other in your life, whether you are married or moving quickly in that direction, you have a tremendous gift. Never take it for granted as I too often have. Give thanks for the provision of God for a partner to meet the challenges of life with. See the freedom that an "until we are parted by death" commitment can bring to your life. Most of all, tell and show them you love them.
The parting of death is something over which we have little control and from which none of us ultimately has any escape. If you are married, remember the vows you shared at your wedding ceremony. Remember the benediction said at the end of your ceremony. Let your marriage be proof those promises made it beyond the benediction. Let it be today. Tomorrow may not provide another chance.
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