Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Until We Are Parted by Death

The parting of death weighed heavily on my mind this past weekend.

My involvement in a wedding this past weekend left me unable to attend three different funerals of people that I knew. I was asked to officiate at one, provide music at another, and simply wanted to be present at the other one.

It should come as no surprise then that as I sat at the piano watching this bride and groom get married on Saturday evening, the moment in which they were asked if they would keep their vows until they were parted by death caused my mind to wander for a few minutes.

The three funerals represented three different people who were all at varying degrees of time into their married adult lives. One of the deaths was the 23 year-old son of one of my closest friends in the world. He had yet to have his 2nd wedding anniversary. The second death this week was my dentist's wife (also a dentist - they practiced together) who was far too young (in her late 50s), but who had, with her husband, made a life together and raised their children to adulthood. The other funeral was of an elderly man who had earned his final goodbye by living to 90 years of age and enjoying 63 years of marriage.

All of this went through my mind as this young couple stood at the altar. My wife and I have been married for 17 years and counting. Neither of us have experienced significant health scares, but nobody ever knows what tomorrow holds. And trust me... we have had a few surprises through the years that have challenged the bonds of our matrimony.

One of them was when I told my wife of my call to be a pastor. She married a church musician, so pastor wasn't too far off the radar. Still, one of her life goals was never to marry a preacher. Ooops. In less than three weeks, we will be making our third move to a new location under the banner of the itineracy in The United Methodist Church. I know she didn't sign up for this. But she has lovingly followed the bishop's appointment for me and will do so again. She will do it for many reasons, but most of those reasons are based in the promises of March 21, 1998, where she said she would love me, comfort me, honor and keep me, and forsake all others until we are parted by death.

It is so easy to take for granted the ones we partner with to do life together. I have sat with many couples through the years either preparing for marriage or working to put the pieces back together to one that is badly damaged. Many of those marriages would be blessed if they could simply decide to treat each other as well as they would a guest in their home. So often, the genuine thankfulness of God's provision of a partner is gone. Although my own marriage isn't perfect (and it won't be as long as I'm part of it), each time I have conducted marriage ceremonies, I am reminded of how thankful I am for my own wife and family. Each time I have buried the love of somebody's life in the funeral rite, I have been thankful that my own wife continues to be full of life and energy for me and my family.

There is a high calling for singleness in today's world. I believe there may be many who are genuinely fit for this lifestyle. There are freedoms to the single life that are helpful for the kingdom of God. Fewer obligations and less time involved in family commitments could free great resources for the kingdom of God. In the New Testament, Paul suggests singleness as the preferred way for those who are "all in" for the kingdom of God. But, thankfully, he realized that singleness isn't for everyone and that some will need to follow the marriage vocation.

Let me use this forum today to simply remind myself and my growing body of readers that if there is a significant other in your life, whether you are married or moving quickly in that direction, you have a tremendous gift. Never take it for granted as I too often have. Give thanks for the provision of God for a partner to meet the challenges of life with. See the freedom that an "until we are parted by death" commitment can bring to your life. Most of all, tell and show them you love them.

The parting of death is something over which we have little control and from which none of us ultimately has any escape. If you are married, remember the vows you shared at your wedding ceremony. Remember the benediction said at the end of your ceremony. Let your marriage be proof those promises made it beyond the benediction. Let it be today. Tomorrow may not provide another chance.

Monday, May 11, 2015

You Are Loved Here

I had a wonderful experience with God's people this weekend!

My family traveled to Columbus to visit with some people at the church we will be moving to in June. The Epworth United Methodist Church seems like an exciting place, but right as our visit began, an unwelcome excitement emerged.

Just as we came into town, the temperature gauge began to creep up on our van. Now our van has a lot of miles, but has given us good service through the years. I patiently watched the gauge as it slowly moved up, up, up. It would move up a little outside the normal range, and then come back down. The next time, it would go up just a bit more. This cycle repeated several times before I even mentioned anything to my wife. Eventually, the "peaks" of this little cycle began to get very near the red line and the "valleys" began to be nonexistent. We finally made it to the restaurant where we were having dinner with the current pastor and his family. I shared with them what was going on. Then, the funniest thing happened.

People acted like Jesus. Together, Scott Hagan (the current pastor) and another church member helped me out as we got some coolant for the van and filled it up hoping that would help get us through. Before the night was done, however, we realized the leak was serious. We nursed the van to the church parsonage where it would sit... and bleed... the remainder of the night. The pastor loaned us their SUV which we drove to the hotel.

There, in the hotel, I began to let some good, old-fashioned despair and "woe-is-me" thinking take over. I didn't come to Columbus to be a burden on anyone. I had just come to check out our new church, meet some folks, and take a directory picture. To top it all off, within the last week, I had a member of my current church trying to get me to buy a new car! I lay in bed as the night wore on a bit thinking, "is this a sign?"--"Can it get any worse?" I texted Scott and thanked him for his hospitality and apologized a bit for the inconvenience. That is when he sent me a text that changed my weekend and produced the crux of my sermon for Sunday. The note said simply this:

"You are loved here."
 

I'll admit that tears welled up as I read that message. Moving is stressful. There are lots of things that tug on your time and attention. You want to end well and start well. You want to keep your head in the game where you are currently serving even as you begin to try to figure out what is coming in the new place. There is the real stress of discovering your new neighborhood, working out plans for schools, jobs for spouses, and meeting so many new people--it can be overwhelming. Sometimes, one more "extra" can be the infamous straw that breaks the camel's back. I knew that the car repair might not even be expensive, but I was concerned about getting it done and getting home to Alma for church on Sunday. I love Alma and all the folks here. Leaving here will be very hard. I didn't want anything to cause us to miss one of our last worship services together.
 
Scott had told me we were loved at Epworth, and then he and others proved it. Scott got up early and fetched another gallon of coolant to nurse the van on toward the church. A very kind and generous member of Epworth then gave up several hours of his Saturday afternoon to repair my van at a steep discount (probably parts only - yes, it was the radiator). He did that while my family was being shown around town by another couple who were also extremely kind. Not only was I TOLD we were loved, but that love was put into ACTION. There were more kind acts over the weekend--too many to name.
 
So I can hear what you are thinking... "but you are the new pastor and you got special treatment." To some extent that is likely true. But, I kind of think from what I learned about these people this weekend that the same courtesy would have been extended to others. And if it's NOT that way, then it should be.
 
When folks are among the people of God, they should know that they are loved here.
 
Bishop James King, Jr., our South Georgia Conference bishop, is often known to say that our churches should be "love stations." He has invited and encouraged all of us to be in small groups that meet often which he calls CLU (Christlike Love Unit) groups. Indeed, our churches should be about love. The Bible says God IS love. The Bible says the world will know we are Christians by our love. When compared with other spiritual qualities, love is the greatest of them. It is the first in the list of spiritual fruit. Love is mighty important to God and it is clear that it is important to God's people.
 
My whole family has surely felt and been loved in Alma. I know others have been loved in word and action by our churches here. So, if anything made it beyond the benediction Sunday, I hope it is that church folks in all places be reminded and realize that when others interact with the church of Jesus Christ, they should know by our words and our actions that they are loved here.

Monday, May 4, 2015

Not My Best Show

Some of you of the right age and television demographic may remember one of now Senator Al Franken's legendary Saturday Night Live characters. Stuart Smalley was a self-help television show host who usually seemed to need a little help himself before it was over with. I'll never forget one of the most memorable episodes of this show. Smalley doesn't usually have guests on his show, and "that's OK." But things get really funny when he attempts to help legendary basketball star, Michael J. (to protect his anonymity), to feel better about himself. Click here to watch...

I'm going to do a little bit of self-revelation today. I am not sure that Sunday was my "best show." I messaged a friend Sunday night that I didn't think I had preached very well Sunday morning. He confided that, for one reason or another, he felt the same way about his own sermon. Maybe there was something in the air yesterday that made things feel like they just didn't "click."

I am almost sure I didn't say anything heretical. And I don't think anybody fell asleep (at least nobody new - there are a couple that I lose to slumber on a regular basis, but I don't take it personally). I don't think anybody is going to answer the call to be a missionary in Africa from the message yesterday.

But you know what? I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it... -people like me! So what if it wasn't my best show. Is that what church is supposed to be... a show? I hope not.

Yesterday, I offered the word of God. I expounded upon the lectionary text of the day. We reflected upon how God is the vinegrower, Jesus is the vine, and we are the branches. John 15:1-8 simply says to abide in Christ and he will abide in us. We must remain connected to the vine so we can bear fruit for the kingdom. If we don't bear fruit, we risk being pruned away and discarded and burned.

Then, we did one of my favorite things. We gathered around the table of the Lord. We feasted on the bread and wine. We moved from whatever proclamation of the word I mustered to the mystery of God's grace present in the sacrament of Holy Communion. God had the last word.

As I gave the benediction Sunday, I simply called us to go into the world, to be faithful branches, and to bear fruit. The fruit doesn't always come in the time we think it should or the quantity we think is right. But if we remain connected to the vine and allow God to prune and shape us, we can be fruit-bearers.

I might not have preached my most memorable sermon. And this blog is not an effort to get a bunch of cheap affirmations from you folks who were there! Please don't respond in that way. I have had many meals in my life. Even though all are not memorable, I have been fed and nourished just the same.

So even though the sermon might not have "done it" for me this week, the celebration of God's grace in bread and wine did. God's grace, if received and welcomed into your life, can always make it beyond the benediction and to the point of our need.

When we fall short, God's grace is sure. Thanks be to God for all-sufficient grace!